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How To Starve Your Fears

July 17, 2019

By Tami VanHoy


How to Starve Your Fears

Our fears must be fed to stay alive. We feed them by…
• Letting them tell us no to dreams or goals
• Agreeing with their lies
• Settling for doing without
So how do we stop feeding them? It’s easy to ‘say’ we won’t feed them but doing it is another story. We have to decide we are going to begin starving our fear(s) ON PURPOSE, and then begin the process of actually doing it.
It begins with recognizing the fears we are feeding. They come in various forms. The fears that can stop us from reaching goals or accomplishing dreams look like these:
• Speaking in public
• Talking to people 
• Talking on the phone
• Change
• The unknown
• Sharing what you have to offer
• Success itself (yes…that is definitely a thing!)
Once we acknowledge the fears we are feeding, we can begin the process of starving them. 
STEP 1 – What Do You Want?
What is fear keeping you from? The first step in starving them is realizing what we want on the other side of our fear is more exciting and desirable than the life we have right now with them.
• A better lifestyle
• A future
• A new home
• A family vacation
• Independence
• Financial freedom
• Retirement
• Giving generously
• Helping others 
Once we can visualize what’s on the other side of fear, we need to imagine how it will feel when we get there.
STEP 2 – Feel the Difference
Once you have a visual image of what fear is keeping you from – step across to that other side of fear and imagine your new life. 
How will it feel when…
• You are living the life you imagined
• You have a future you can be excited about
• You walk into that new home
• You take your family on that dream vacation
• You no longer have the stress of living pay check to pay check
• You see your retirement savings begin to grow
• You write that first significant check to the charity of your passion
STEP 3 – Write A Letter to Yourself
Write a thank you note to your future self, expressing how much you love the results that came from starving your fears and getting to the other side of them.
Use this template to guide you: 
Dear [your name],
Thank you for taking that purposeful step to stop feeding the fear of [insert fear] so that I could be here today…. [Continue to describe where you are, what it looks like, how you feel, what people are saying to you and about you. What you are thinking about yourself.]
Thank you for focusing on what you can do and starving the lies of fear that said you couldn’t….
STEP 4 – Write A Letter to Fear
Write a letter to fear declaring your intentions to starve it to death. Be specific about what the fear is and what you are going to do ON PURPOSE to stop feeding it.
Use this template to guide you: 
Dear Fear,
For too long I have fed you and allowed you to keep me from [insert the specific thing waiting for you on the other side of that fear]. 
Today is the day I begin the process of starving you.
It may not happen all at once, but you will be starved, and I WILL move beyond you and into my vision for my future.
You tell me that [list the lies your fear tells you that keeps you from moving to the other side of it]
Starting today I am claiming my future and will starve you by [list the things you will do to starve the fear one day at a time].
Once your letters are written, read them aloud.
Continue to read them as you persevere in the process of starving your fears. Put the letters in a place where you can read them regularly. Pull them out and read them aloud every time fear is asking to be fed. Remind yourself of what’s waiting for you on the other side of that fear.
As always, we have to want to do it ON PURPOSE to make it a reality. Schedule a time to go through this exercise. Make a date with yourself and show up for it.
Do Something On Purpose Today...
• Schedule a date and time to do this exercise and write your letters. 

• When do you want to begin starving your fear?

• What might get in your way of starving your fear? 

• How can you overcome that obstacle?

About Tami

Tami VanHoy, Director of Field Development at pawTree LLC, is passionate about helping people live ON PURPOSE. As a certified Life/Purpose Coach, she walks with people to sift through the excuses, define that purposeful path, and live it out – on purpose! You can find more from Tami here at
Tami is loved by her husband, 4 children, and 5 grandchildren (so far!). When at home, you’ll often find her Shih Tzu, Muffin, snuggled up in her lap while she writes.